Orange is the New Black: Excerpts From The Time Hump Chronicles

My summer love, Orange is the New Black, has given us one of the greatest, most disturbing meta stories ever: The Time Hump Chronicles. Crazy Eyes’s erotic fiction that she penned for drama class is the highlight of the show’s third season, and makes me wish it was real. The closest thing we have to it is what the script writers came up with and had actress Uzo Aduba scrawl onto curly sheets of worn paper. That is “Suzanne Warren’s” actual handwriting, and Aduba has admitted that there is a full story… Read More

Doctor Who: River Song’s Timeline Put in Order

Leave it to Moff to take an fun and dynamic Doctor Who character like River Song and make her backstory gobsmackingly confusing. After re-watching the series many times, I still twist my arms around each other pointing to an invisible air timeline when trying to sort out where River’s been and when. To help sort out the jumble of Melody Pond’s life, below is a reconstructed chronology. (Do I really need to say “Spoilers”!?) Liquid Baby Melody Pond was born to Amy Pond and Rory Williams on an asteroid called Demon’s Run, where… Read More