Chardee MacDennis Rules: A Playable Version of the Game
Brought to you by It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia…and Boss Hog.
If you’re reading this, you probably are familiar with the notorious cure for boredom that was conceived by the assholes from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
That’s right, it’s Chardee MacDennis: The Game of Games!
And I have (very painfully) put together a set of rules and cards for a version that is actually playable. Yes, that’s right, playable! Obviously the original Sunny version of Chardee MacDennis would certainly result in serious injury, jail time, and probably death. So I went a-hunting around the interwebs and pretty much every homegrown variant I saw online (when I decided to make a set for my husband for Christmas) was oddly focused around men having to do things to each others’ butts and balls …unpleasant things.
I don’t do frat boy.
So I developed a version of Chardee MacDennis that stayed as true to the original game as possible, but in our actual reality. My husband and I have play-tested this once and it worked beautifully. When we moved, my husband was adamant that we keep the “Chardee” set and bring it with us. Glad he did.
This is an alcoholic drinking game. This is a dangerous game and should never be played by anyone for any reason. The drinking demands and various stunts are all potentially very dangerous, and other elements of the game are destructive, insulting, and degrading. HauntedCoconut.com takes no responsibility for harm to person or property.
Consuming excessive amounts of alcohol leads to impaired judgement and can lead to death. Always drink responsibly, never drive after drinking, and do not play this game. Look out for your family and friends and cease the game immediately if anyone is in distress or does not want to play. Seek medical attention immediately as needed for you and your cohorts. If you do play Chardee MacDennis, someone could very easily get hurt and things will be broken. People will cry. Reputations will be ruined. Just don’t play this game. If you do, you accept responsibility for all harm, consequences, damages, and injury–physical, mental, and social. Don’t play this game.
Did you read that full disclaimer? Good. You should. Now that we’ve established you should never play this game, here is how one might hypothetically go about doing so.
The Crap You Need to Play
First, you will need to gather a number of items. Here is a list of non-perishable items that I keep in a specially designed shoebox for this game:
- Chardee MacDennis Rules Sheet, Game Cards, & Game Board
- Game pieces for each team
- Custom flags for each team
- Puzzle Bag
- Bag of Dialects and Voices
- The Black Card
I would like to note that I just opened my game box for the first time in about a year, and it has an oddly beerish-fruity smell. Huh. Anyway, we’ll get into the details for each one of these things in just a moment.
But before we do, let’s go over the other items you will want to have on-hand at game time. If you are missing any items, certain cards may not be playable and should be removed from the deck. (Try not to do this too often).
Props to Have On-Hand
- A Timer
- 20 dice
- Deck of playing cards, standard
- A music player with wide access to a lot of songs
- A dozen eggs, roughly (more eggs are better)
- Roll of duct tape
- Set of Scrabble tiles
- Markers (they may be applied to skin in awful ways, so choose carefully)
- Grapes, marshmallows, jelly beans, or carrot coins (to be gobbled up, in a game that is a MAJOR CHOKING HAZARD. Be careful.)
- Marbles, or similarly sized spheres
- Pencil and pens
- Color dot stickers (or sheets of other stickers)
- A bucket/bowl of either sand or rice (messy!)
You may also want a tarp. These games get messy, yo.
Drinking games are a terrible idea, but the game calls for the following: Wine, beer, AND hard alcohol. There should be enough of all three for all players. (See the rules if you’re worried about a picky-persnickety person.)
Let’s Get Crafty: Making Your Game Set, Bitches
- The Rules: Print them out (and you probably should laminate them)
- The Game Cards: Print and neatly trim them into individual cards. NOTE! There are 3 sets of cards included in the printout: Level 1-MIND, Level 2-BODY, and Level 3-SPIRIT. Print each of these cards on a different color of paper (or otherwise demarcate the difference between the 3 sets). Sort and shuffle them ahead of the game. If you let people read them ahead of time, they won’t be nearly as surprised later on.
- The Game Board: The game board is meant to be rudimentary, but sturdy. This is what it should look like. I made mine out of scrap wood, and used markers and paint.
- Game Pieces For Each Team: Each team should have a totem to represent themselves on the game board. This should be roughly the size of an action figure, Barbie, or troll doll. WARNING: These pieces are susceptible to irreversible damage and destruction. Each team can have fun deciding which game piece will work best.
The original player pieces from the show…and here’s what we use. I am Catwoman, of course. We got both figures as prizes at a kids arcade. Now Catwoman has been subjected to the flames of dishonor.
- Flag For Each Team: Each team should decide on a team name and create a flag to represent that team and assist in their demonstrations of physical prowess and intimidation. Each team may choose their materials and medium.My flag on the left and my husbands on the right. Someone clearly put a lot more thought into her team flag than her husband did. Also, notice the char marks on the corner of mine. I lost. He set it on fire.
- The Puzzle Bag: You should take a very large t-shirt that you don’t mind destroying, and cut it into roughly 6 to 8 pieces, as if it were a jigsaw puzzle that could be put back together. Place the pieces in a bag for future ues.
- Bag of Dialects and Voices: Cut up a number of strips of paper to approximately equal sizes and write on each one a dialect or voice that may be imitated upon command during the game. Creativity is highly encouraged. Examples from my set:
– French accent
– Christopher Walken
– Dramatic Movie Trailer Guy
– Scottish accent
– Forrest Gump
Fold up each slip of paper once and keep them all in a bag for blind drawing later on.
- The Black Card: This is TOP SECRET. This is the tiebreaker card that is hidden from all and sealed, only to be opened under the rare circumstance that there is a tie. As the game maker, you will have to create this and write the following (forget it immediately afterward: [Highlight to Read Top Secret Contents of Black Card]
“In the event of a tie, a winner must be chosen.
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE.
Flip a coin.“
Now get to it, godammit!
Remember, you may not call “bullshit” on any questions or answers. The cards are what they are. If you wanted better, maybe you should’ve created an entire Chardee MacDennis set from scratch.
Good luck, and please accept this illusion of respect I send to you now.